Health
Uncovering the Sparkle
Fiona was hesitant to come in for sessions. She was past the point of believing that anything could help the overwhelming feelings of depression and despair. Even medication wasn't making a difference.
Having given up on men after several damaging relationships, Fiona had withdrawn into herself and lived alone with her precious cat.
Fiona was stuck in noticing where things were wrong. This is normal when people have experienced considerable hardship. Often when things are going badly we only notice what doesn't work which makes things even worse. This is the brain's design and not in our conscious control. The brain will go down the path of least resistance (shortest and most used pathway) regardless of the outcome. In other words, feeling bad gets you more of feeling bad.
The key to Fiona's return to a happy life lay in bringing her awareness to what supported her and felt good. In the beginning it was things like her cat or a year in her early 20's when she had had fun with friends. Later it became a more embodied sense of wellbeing with her legs feeling strong and her back sensing the support of the chair. By noticing the good stuff, called 'resources', Fiona's body was able to discharge the activation from fight and flight patterns that had been leading to the emotions of despair and depression. After two months of sessions, Fiona walked into my office as the sparkly, athletic, stunning, six foot blonde that had been hidden inside all along.
Resolving Chronic Pain
It always amazes me to see people live with chronic pain, year after year, and still get up to live another day.
John was no exception. A talented computer analyst, well known in his field, John had not been able to hold a job consistently for over 8 years. Needless to say, the money was in limited supply, and personal relationship more of a stress than a support.
At some point, John's nervous system had moved into what is called 'freeze'. This is a response to threat, akin to animals in the wild 'playing dead'. Underneath the freeze is always considerable activation brought about from the brain perceiving the need to run or fight. It's like having the brake pedal (freeze) and the accelerator pedal (fight and flight) on at the same time. Imagine what that would do to the car engine over time!
John had coped with the very uncomfortable experience of freeze in his body by pushing through. This had resulted in major pain and a life that held no joy and no future.
With sessions, John's brain gradually learned that he no longer needed to be in freeze. The unresolved fight and flight patterns were allowed to complete themselves and, without the debilitating pain, John started to rediscover his desire to be alive.
Prosperity
Lack Finally Leaves
It didn't seem to matter how many books she read or how many wonderful and exciting seminars she went to, Anna continued to experience financial lack.
It wasn't an issue of living on less, Anna was already quite frugal. Neither was it about working harder. Anna's capacity was already maxed out with building her business, caring for her children and studying part time to further her career. The circumstances might have been different over the years but the theme remained - not enough money.
Remember the statement 'Whatever is happening on the inside is creating your experience on the outside.'
Well, Anna had two neural patterns that were preventing her from having more income. One stemmed from when she first came into physical existence in her mother's womb. This was an extremely challenging time for her mother and as a growing fetus in a stressful environment, Anna would have perceived that the source of life is not safe. With money being derived from life's source, it too became unsafe.
The second pattern was to do with Anna's left side. The left side in Chinese yin yang theory is to do with receiving. Anna's left side carried a sense of damage, contraction and blockage. Certainly not conducive to receiving.
By making it safe to receive and resolving the sense of damage carried on the left side, Anna's business started to blossom and she is now taking great strides towards financial freedom.
Relationships
Happy Marriage
Jen went weak at the knees when she first met the man who would become her future husband. Being with this person felt like coming home and she was determined to have that home. And home it became. Criticisms, addictive behaviours, being needed but not wanted, 'giving it all' with little or no appreciation in return. Jen had rediscovered the home of her childhood, the story of 'home' as it had been laid down in her nervous system from when she was young.
Jen was in deep when she came for sessions, separated now, but still completely hooked in emotionally. “He'll come back. He just needs to work some stuff out.”
Gradually Jen moved out of shock and delusion and opened up to being cared for, supported and respected. Today Jen tells me that she has remarried a most wonderful man. Being criticized is a thing of the past. Her efforts are appreciated daily and for the first time ever, home is safe.
Purpose
Uncovering Authenticity
Wonderboy Nathanial was busy following his parents' dreams for him. At 16 he had not only finished highschool but also a bachelor's degree. Born with a spectacular capacity for understanding numbers, it only made sense that he establish his genius in the academic realm. Several degrees and numerous publications later, Nathaniel stepped back one day and for the first time asked whether this was 'his' dream.
Turned out it wasn't. Within six months Nathaniel found himself in a new field, nothing to do with academia. His wife tells me that he leaves for work every morning glowing like a kid heading out to play with his buddies.
Nathaniel hadn't come in for sessions to sort out his career. He thought that was the bit that worked. But as he became healthier, the story of what he should do, given his genius, gave way to a story that is more authentic and certainly more joyous.
Children
No More Hitting
Highly spirited, intelligent and athletically competent, Ian had one drawback as a 7 year old, he hit people. This had Ian get into trouble on numerous occasions at school and at home. There was always a good reason to hit - someone had hit him or threatened him first. Well meaning adults would suggest to Ian that he make the right choices. In other words 'don't hit'.
Ian had no conscious control over the hitting. This type of behaviour originates from the subconscious brain as a response to threat. Appealing to Ian's cognitive brain to resolve the hitting pattern was akin to changing a car tire when there's something wrong with the engine. It's simply looking in the wrong place for the solution.
Ian received sessions to address the lack of safety perceived by his subconscious brain.
Today Ian is no longer spending time in the headmaster's office, is thriving at school, and very rarely hurts anybody.
From 'D's to 'A's
Brian was a gentle teenager of 14 years. He had everything going for him, being from a caring and financially successful family. The only trouble was that he was failing in school and things were getting worse, in spite of spending extra time on homework. The more Brian tried, the more he failed.
Brian's nervous system had a pattern called 'dissociation'. It happens when the subconscious brain perceives threat or overwhelm and has decided that the best way to cope is to disconnect from the awareness of what's happening in the body. It's a great strategy to deal with immediate stressors, however it comes with long term costs such as compromised thinking ability and greater chance of illness and disease.
With the dissociation resolved, Brian could think more clearly and easily tackle those exam questions. One day he walked into my office and proudly announced that he was now getting 'A's and 'B's.